Saturday, October 24, 2009
i really hadn't thought of the why and hows before and these recent and past conversations have made me consider it. i have spent a bit of time with my own thoughts, then spent a while seeing if i can find the ideas of others, and may even bring this up with Mike when he gets home.
My boyfriend is the only one who has ever spanked me and i can't think of a time when it has not been an incredible turn on that can lead to nearly nuclear sex, which led me to wondering why is it such a turn on.
i have read some quite clinical explanations. The spanking causing a rush of blood to the afflicted area and because of the proximity to the genitals, leading to swelling of tissues and the friction as a result of squirming causing stimulation to the labia and clitoris. i think you get the idea.
While this makes sense, i think it goes way beyond this. Trying to think of an appropriate word, i came up with "bask". A spanking causes me to bask in the intimacy with Mike that the act provides.
There is his strength, power, and masculinity which is not more obvious than as when he has me over his lap.
The consideration he must take as he observes my every reaction and adjusts accordingly.
The actual physical contact with him.
Each spank (especially later ones) causing an immediate spark of some pain but very soon after turning to a heat that spreads thru the whole area that causes a delicious squirm and sting.
All the senses seem to highten, even smell
i don't like the ACTUAL pain involved with the act of spanking, meaning the impact itself (especially with wood toys like a holey paddle or a brush) but it is inherent in the act... it IS spanking after all. Hand or toy strikes flesh. but it is short lived, at least with me, quickly turning to that heat and at times it can be so stimulating that the pain doesn't even register thru the overwhelming other sensations including a lead up to very intense arousal. But I will gladly endure it to experience the other aspects that I listed above.
Now, yes, spanking is violence. i mean one person IS striking another; and as said before it does cause some pain. Though technically it is violence, battery, and probably a bunch of other negative descriptions. However, i think before any such negativity is applied to the act, i think the MOTIVATION behind it should be examined.
Are you spanking her for MUTUAL enjoyment (as is the case nearly 100% of the time with Mike and i)?
Fulfillment of some kind of need?
Punishment out of love (a whole other discussion probably), that hopefully leads to a modification of behavior that perhaps if continued may endanger her health, safety, and so on?
other.. (with motivation being borne out of love, admiration, etc)
If these are applicable, then i think this is a "good" violence... and quite frankly the negative stigmas (ie violence, battery, etc) should not even be considered.
IF, however, the motivation is to lash out at a proxy to vent anger and frustration for some "wrong" that someone has done to you (for example, a female boss that passed you over for promotion) then this IS "bad" violence.
If you are doing it out of sheer anger, or you yourself have lost control or any number of reasons that are not borne out of any of the positive reasons that were mentioned above (or similar), then all the negativity SHOULD be applied and the spanking act (in THIS case) should be condemned in my opinion.
So this is how I (not speaking for others, but answering the questions in MY opinion), explain why i like spanking and how i can "justify" the "violence". And i hope i have made sense. This wasnt easy to put into words :(
what say you?
when you are at the beach (or backyard, or by the pool), laying out, wait til he is in that dreamy mostly asleep state
then take out a sunblock (like you would put on your nose or the other errrrrrr "sensitive" bits that may be exposed if you are fortunate enought to be secluded enough to lay out nekkid ) and write something on his chest or back....like wash me....or draw a smiley or what have you.
now, if you are watching your health and worried about your skin, you arent getting fried out there! so whatever you drew on him SHOULDNT be terribly stark and another laying out should "erase" your art
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Whether he whispers it in your ear at a party, the grocery store, a crowded elevator, the video store, the doctor's waiting room, in line paying the phone bill.
or even worse/better, he says it out loud for everyone to hear:
" bad girl "
With just those seven letters you lose your breath for a second, your face flushes, you peek around out of the corner of your eyes to see who else heard, maybe you start to feel those first signs of arousal and maybe even your hand involuntarily starts to go back to your bottom!
Questions race thru your mind... did he hear that very thinly veiled "compliment" you just gave the bitch of the party... "that dress looks MUCH better on you".... leaving off but leaving no doubt you meant "instead of that 1975 pimp-mobile Caddilac car seat you got it from"
did he see you switch the price tag on the shelf from the rice a roni box on sale for 70 cents to the extra virgin olive oil that is regularly $7.99?
did the new bikini you purchased show up on this month's visa bill instead of the next because you forgot which date they closed and summarized that month's purcases?
or even "better" you can't think of any "reason" and he is just in the mood
For whatever the reason, you know that sometime after you get home (unless he said it while you are AT home, of course), you are going to get spanked!
He has probably picked that exact moment to say bad girl, cause he knows that now that is all that you are going to be thinking of. He knows that you are going to be squirming in your seat as you anticipate the event as you can't help but wonder what he is going to use, how long. It seems that the resulting arousal is proportional to how long it's been since the last time you had some "attention" especially if it's been TOO LONG (and i know ... it's subjective... for some girls that is 6 HOURS lolol)
All you know, is the next 45 minutes, hour, 2 hours, etc til it happens are going to be an "agony" of rampant imagination and dampening panties of the anticipation of the time you are going to spend over his lap and then between the sheets.
and damn thats great aint it! :D
after he goes to bed, take his toothbrush and soak the the head overnight in a glass of a mixture of vinegar, tabasco sauce, and salt!
and of course you make sure you get up before him and put his toothbrush back in the holder
also...make sure you have a replacement toothbrush for him after he uses it (and of course after he finally lets you up off his lap lol) cause the taste aint ever coming out
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Don't know whether it brings thoughts of whips chains, cages, ball gags, etc. but seems to make people shudder and run.
Sure, that can be part of it, but it's certainly not all. Mike and i don't have ANY of that.
To me, bdsm just incorporates so much more than just the bend and whack of just spanking... which is great by the way!! ... but, there is sooooo much more to explore and enjoy.
Recent talks in chat as well as one reader's question about the oil is what got me to thinking about it.(will get to the oil :) )
It doesn't all have to be about making a girl as uncomortable as possible thru pain and pretzel positions. For us it's all about the sensuous nature of what we do. Of course, some pain is involved in spanking and i have looked in the mirror the next day and seen the marks and thought "holy crap! That was all in fun??!!" But, while it's going on there is soooo many other sensations, that even the pain is drowned out...if that makes sense.
Some of what we have/do that ISN"T just spanking :
blindfold: If you haven't tried it, DO! Wow! Not being able to "see what's coming" is an EXQUISITE torture lol
candles... Not the beeswax, pariffan store bought candles. These were professionally made by a great friend and trusted woman in the scene for many years. Made from soy and designed to melt at lower temperature so its just VERY warm and not burning. Absolutely amazing! And, get this the wax can be massaged into the skin like a silky lotion! Terrific when combined with blindfold and...
ice: The effect of ice and heat of candles is amazing! (i know! i overuse that word. But, sometimes the sensations are hard to put into words) and sometimes when you are really on edge and every nerve is alive and screaming with the sensuous torture of it all, you cant tell hot from cold at times!
oil: Ok. This is actually something Mike invented after we saw some massage oil at an adult store. He said he could make something a lot better and turned the kitchen into a laboratory. He finally perfected this recipe of
ground habenero pepper
and has it warming in a crockpot all day
When we get back on our feet financially, we are thinking of selling it (of course i've probably just shot that idea to hell giving away the secret ingredients) that's how good this stuff is.
The sensation of it is INCREDIBLE especially on the more errrr "sensitive" parts! And on spanked skin its like streaks of very mild fire that can drive you up a wall!
stockings and pantyhose: My old ones..that have runs or lost a lot of elasticity. We use these for "restraints". i LOVE it... so soft, and no marks lol.
These are just SOME of the things we use and have. And see??!! No whips, back breaking positions, blood, rope burns, etc. Just ecstacy.
And thats bdsm. For us. Call it the lighter side of things, but sure doesn't need to be scary :).
Every house has a main water shut off valve for emergencies.
Next time he takes a shower, keep peeking in.
Soon as he is all shampooey and soapy, quick run and shut it off!
... variation on this
every water heater has a valve that shuts off the outflow of water from it...turn it off instead of the main water valve
sorry i havent been posting... i really do aprreciate everyone reading and making such kind comments.
i will try to write more...it's just real life is "intruding" big time at the moment
Sunday, August 9, 2009
However, last Sunday morning i could tell he was in the mood and of course so was i.
It was fabululous! He pulled out all the stops. He brought out the blindfold, the old pantyhose restraints, his homemade special oil, the candles, cane, crop, and i don't even remember how many paddles.
A couple hours later, still basking in the "afterglow", we finally went about the daily business. It was that evening, as i was planning out the next days schedule, that i saw that i had a doctor appointment that next day. Well, i went to the mirror, and sure enough, all kinds of marks were starting to make themselves known and would definitely remain longer than the doc appointment.
I really like my doctor. He is a very kind man of i think 62 now in a small practice. His wife, one year older, is his nurse. Both of them wonderful people.
I then thought back to two years ago September, on my birthday (well technically it was the day after because we both had to work on my birthday). It was a super fun day with a great party that night. I had gotten my birthday spanking of course and a while later, i got one of my private presents. It was one of Mike's old belts and he had cut the last foot or so of it into ten thin strands. So i had gotten another birthday spanking with that. Then before the party, also got a beautiful cane, I think it's called mallacca or something? i will have to remember to look it up. Anyways, i got ANOTHER birthday spanking with that ( i know, i know, i tend to call it all spanking rather than differentiate between caning, tawsing etc).
The party later was great. Dancing, loud music, public presents, but i drank wayyyyyyyyy too much. Way after the party at about 4am (still pretty drunk), i stumbled getting out of bed and into the bathroom and twisted my ankle bad. Mike got up and iced it and elevated it, but it still swelled up like a balloon.
A few hours later we decided to go to the doctor worried that the injure may be severe. The doc saw me quickly and lisa (his wife the nurse) had me change into a gown. (no idea why as it was for my ankle, but i didn't question it). i did so and sat up on the HARD exam table.
By the time the doc and nurse came in, i was squirming around trying to find a comfortable way to sit/lean. The doc pronounced that i had a bad sprain, but then he noticed my squirming.
Without hesitation, at the same time he says, "im worried, you may have hurt your back or hip in the fall", he also half turns me and tips me over with the gown parting and then they both go silent. Upon seeing my bottom, lisa said "THAT did NOT come from a fall", referring to all the marks, of course.
Soooooo, i had some explaining to do. Then they went and talked to Mike, i guess to make sure our stories matched, and thats how they came to find out what Mike and i get up to.
It's nice not having to worry about marks when going to the doctor. And Monday, just as i expected, when i was being checked out, lisa goes "tsk tsk amber...naughty again" and we have a laugh about it.
So, do your doctors "know" ?
this one may get a little messy:
you take a full or new plastic bottle of ketchup (tomato sauce, i believe in the u.k.)
then you unscrew the top and turn the top over and plug the hole with a piece of paper towel
then you take a safety pin and poke NUMEROUS holes in the sides of the bottle
then next time you serve something that he likes to put ketchup on, get ready to runnnnnnnnnnn (not tooooooo fast of course ...grins) cause when he squeezes the bottle, ketchup gonna squirt all over him
Saturday, July 25, 2009
There was a private party at the nightclub I work at and I didn't get home until even later than usual and didn't get to sleep until about 5:30.
When I woke up, I had seen that my boyfriend, Mike, was making some chicken salad sandwiches and he told me to shower and dress as we were going to have a picnic lunch.
I did as he said and he carried the cooler, we went to the car, and he drove the 45 minutes it took to get to the park.
The place was empty and Mike carried the cooler and a blanket and we walked thru the wooded area to find a suitable place. We came to a nice little clearing in the woods that overlooked the lake. It was quite lovely.
Mike layed out the blanket, and took out some paper plates, plastic forks and cups, napkins, the baggie of sandwiches, container of cole slaw, and opened a bottle of wine.
After we finished eating, I was sitting on his lap and we were kissing and touching. I was put over his lap and he had started a gentle spanking and rubbing over my shorts.
It eventually got harder and I was quite liking it when he stopped. I looked back wondering if that was it, when I saw him reach in the cooler and pull out a leather paddle he had secreted away under the food. I just grinned and he started spanking with that.
After quite a bit of that, I felt him try to take my shorts down. At first I was very hesitant and he said that it was ok. We had the place to ourselves. So, I lifted up some making it easier for him to take them off and then he started spanking over my panties.
It was just starting to get to that delicious stinging stage when he then stopped and I felt him start to take my panties down. Well, wanting to get back to the spanking, I didn't hesitate this time and lifted up to help.
After a few minutes of bare spanking with the yummy leather paddle, and increasing moaning on my part, he stopped and began to rub my stinging bottom gently.
At this point I was quite ready to jump his bones and got off his lap and onto my knees and was reaching to remove his own shorts when we both heard some noise. We turned and there at the edge of the clearing, was 2 guys and 2 girls about our age, standing astride their bicycles and staring right at us. We had obviously not heard them before due to the quite a bit of noise we were making. We had also failed to notice the bike trail right next to the clearing.
I was embarrassed and mortified at the situation. I was on my hands and knees with my undoubtedly very red bottom (since I color and mark easily) and everything else on display pointed right at them.
Without stopping to think, I gave Mike a big shove back so I could yank up the blanket, spilling everything on the ground in the process and I wrapped it around my waist and ran for the car.
Mike got there a couple minutes later carrying the stuff. He put it in the backseat, got behind the wheel and started to say something. I immediately and quite strongly told him not to say one damn word. He started to drive and I could tell he was doing his best to stifle his laughter because I would hear muffled snorting as I was trying to put my panties and shorts back on. He was staring at the road and unable to see the hard glare I was giving him. Later, much later, I was able to laugh, too.
Outdoor spanking can be fun, but don't be surprised if you get caught. And it seems getting caught is another fantasy.
It may be fun to think about getting caught, but when it happens it can be awful embarrasing.
Today's trick AND treat tip:
mix the dough of his favorite cookie
take aside enough dough for a cookie noticably larger than the others you plan on making
add a few tablespoons of salt to that bit of dough
bake a sheet of cookies, when you pull them out, make sure the larger one is at the edge of the cooling sheet
call him for the fresh baked cookies ...even better call him in as you are taking them out of the oven
good thing is, once the "action" is over, you still have cookies to munch on
Monday, July 20, 2009
Last year, my parents were due to spend 4 days and 3 nights visiting us. We have a decent house, but the walls between the adjoining bedrooms were way too thin if you know what I mean.
Mike had been working extra nights so that he could take the time off and as a result he had been just too tired for fun.
Mom and dad got to our place and were tired from over a day of driving so the first day was spent just pretty much talking and such.
The next morning, mom and I were making breakfast and Mike and dad were watching the news. I was getting Mike a cup of coffee when I decided to add a lot of sugar to his mug. I mean a LOT. As I was stirring it, I saw my mom watching and giving me this shocked look. Mike took a big swig and immediately spit it out in the sink while giving me a look that said if they werent there, I'd be in big trouble. Mom just watched without saying anything.
That night we were in bed and it was late and I was wishing we could have some fun but the bed was too noisy and the walls too thin. That's when I got a great idea. Mike and I took the mattress off the bed and put it on the floor and if we were quiet we could at least have some sex.
Well it seemed to be working great. I was on top and guess I had my eyes closed or was leaned over but I didn't see what Mike was doing. Next thing I knew, I felt and heard this extremely loud (in the silence of the late night anyways) WHACK and sting and I let out a yell. Mike had reached under the bed and got one of my hard sandals and whacked me on the ass with it.
Needless to say, the "action" halted immediately. That morning, I went to the kitchen expecting mom to have already started breakfast and that I would help her. Instead, I saw mom and dad talking quietly at the table and then dad left for the living room. Mom had this serious look on her face and she said to me not to talk and just listen.
She said she and dad knew that Mike beats me and that they are taking me right then to go down to the sheriff's office to have him arrested. I was in shock as she was telling me it's not my fault and that she had talked dad out of killing Mike. Finally, I got my voice and started to deny it and she says they heard the whole thing when he hit me. I was still trying to find how to convince her that she was wrong, when she started looking at my arms and face and then she actually opened up my robe. She was looking for signs of abuse!!
I got a hold of her arms and stopped her examination and sat her down and said we needed to talk. I then explained to her about how im not beaten, we play spanking "games" and other such things and we both like it. She was NOT easy to convince and I even had to shoe her the shoeprint on my ass!! After a long time she started to understand and even said something like "so thats why you put all that sugar in his coffee". Well, as embarrassing as that was, she then said she would have to explain all this to my dad. I didn't want to go thru it again so I hid in the bedroom with Mike. Eventually, we had to come out tho, and it was a pretty awkward day!
The next day was a little better. We did tourist stuff. The surprise came that evening when we got ready to watch a dvd that we rented on the way home.
I was making pop corn and mom was making and pouring some iced tea. I watched her add a ton of salt to my dad's glass and stir it up. I just watched in amazement as she handed it to my dad who took a sip and spat it all over himself. I think I was too amazed to laugh but not my mom. She was cracking up so much I thought she was gonna hurt herself.
Dad headed for the kitchen to , I presume, rinses his mouth and probably guzzle some water. But, just after he passed mom still standing there and laughing, he paused for a second and turned and gave my mom a very hard spank!! Well, we all froze in place while the two of them just looked at each other. I don't know how long it really was, seemed like minutes but was probably seconds. No said anything about it and we watched the movie and went to bed.
That wasn't the end of it tho. It was about 1am or so and I was reading and Mike was doing something on the laptop when we heard mom giggling a little in the next room. Then all of a sudden we hear 2 smacks and my mom go ouch. Mike and I looked at each other and we couldn't help it. We just bust out laughing. Then a couple seconds later we hear mom tell us to oh hush up you two.
They were off to Vegas the next day and nothing more has been mentioned about it.
I know you are saying to yourself that so what, they may just have started to have a little slap and tickle fun. However, there is another "chapter" to this story.
We went to visit them over Christmas and we brought our two large dogs with us. The plan was to have a lovely early dinner and then Mike and I would take the dogs for their walk.
While waiting for dinner to finish cooking we were sitting in the living room talking. Mom brought dad a refill of his cocktail but seemed to trip as she spilled the drink in his lap. He jumped up and didn't seem to be happy and gave my mom a look I didn't completely see because of where I was sitting.
Well, we had dinner and mom wouldn't let us help clean up so we put leashes on the dogs and took them for a walk. We had gone a little ways down the sidewalk when we realized we didn't know what the dog walking ordinances were there and if we needed poop bags and a scooper even tho it was a rural area. We went back into the house and as soon as we opened the front door, we heard some very no-nonsense spanking come from somewhere in the house. Needless to say, we shut the door quietly and got away as quick as we could not caring about the ordinances.
And that's how Mike and I ended up "converting" my parents.
Seeing how the booby trapped birthday present worked, I decided to share some of the errrr surprises that I have given Mike over the years as well as some I have yet to pull. Those will probably be rare tho just in case Mike decides to read this blog. So in each post I will try to remember to provide some helpful "tip" on how a girl can get some needed "attention"
1) fill a pitcher with about a pint of hot water
2) stir in a LOT of garlic powder
3) fill an empty ice cube tray with your mixture and freeze
now you have 2 options...next time he wants a cold drink, make sure you fix it for him IN FRONT of him so he doesnt see you "add anything" as you put in ice fresh out of the tray (the warmer the liquid you add, the better)
or two just wait til he fixes an iced drink himself
either way your guaranteed to be studying carpet patterns shortly after grinnnnnnssssss
Monday, July 13, 2009
That morning I fixed a lasagna dinner and put it in the fridge to be baked that evening for dinner. I also baked a couple loaves of french bread that I would use for garlic bread. Then I baked the cake. It was a chocolate cake with cherry topping. It was a lot of chocolate too. I even put a little chocolate syrup in the batter before baking. I swear you could gain 2 pounds just smelling it lol.
Now I had to figure out what to do about a present. Well I got what I thought was a brilliant idea. I cut a long length of thick twine, took a shoebox and put a bunch of crumpled newspaper in and then got a jar and laid it on its side crossways and crammed some more newspapers in. Then I took a bendy plastic ladle and filled the "bowl" part with flour and glitter and laid it down over the jar. Then I quick weighted the handle end down with a piece of woud at same time put the lid on the shoebox then wrapped the box with the single length of twine and I had a spring-loaded booby trap present. smirk
I made a little sketch to illustrate it. Pretty bad I know.
While Mike watched some sports I got dressed in some lacy boyshorts, denim mini skirtand a tank top and sat down with him to watch even if I really wasn't interested, getting him a beer and chips and stuff when he wanted.
When the sports was over it was about 3pm and I decided to give him his present. He was surprised because he knew we couldn't really afford anything and still smiled a little as he felt the weight of the box and took the scissors I gave him and cut the string.
Well, it worked perfectly and he was full of flour and glitter. I couldn't stop giggling. After he rinsed most of it off his face, he dragged me into the bedroom, sat on the bed, pulled me over his lap, lifed the skirt, pulled down the panties and started spanking. I mean really spanking...right from the get go.
He was saying how naughty I was and how big a mess I made, etc. I tell you I was yelping and laughing cause every once in a while this puff of flour came off with some of the smacks. After several minutes of this it stopped. Way too soon to as he let my up and I started to rub when he said to get undressed while he got my hairbrush.
I have thick long hair and was forever snapping handles of cheap brushes and was delighted when I found a lovely rosewood brush in an antique store. It's beautiful and very sturdy and will NOT break. No matter how much I almost wish it would lol. It should only be used on the TOP of the body, too. Mike disagrees!
When I was nekkid, it was back over his lap with the horrid brush. This time the yelping, squealing and squirming started right away. It's a good thing I didn't have to count because I had long lost track. They came so fast too. All I knew was my butt was smoking lol.
Finally it was over and Mike put the brush down. All I wanted to do was jump up and start rubbing like crazy.
Thankfully he rubbed for me and boy did that feel better although he COULD have been a little more gentle! Well as the sting started abating the horniness was escalating and I could feel him under me and ready too.
I got up and got him out of his clothes fast and we spend the next half hour or so in bed. Then we showered together ( I LOOOOVE that) and he went to take a nap. Poor thing was all wore out. Can't imagine why. GRINNNNS.
While he was sleeping, I put on some cocoa butter and looked. There were the typical results of the hairbruse with some ovals darker than the others and would be there a while longer but nothing bad and I mark fairly easy so it wasn't a big deal. I decided I didn't want anything rubbing my butt, so I cleaned up the flour and glitter nekkid. This took a good while.
Then I put the lasagna in the oven and then put on my french maid outfit (I just love my different outfits lol) and went online to the chat room and talked with friends. I pulled the lasagna out when it still had about 15 mins left on it.
When Mike finally awoke, I left chat and put the lasagna back in and made the garlic bread. Mike was very happy to see the outfit. We ate outside by candlelight and I served Mike the food and wine of course making several mistakes and he had to give his maid many a swats lol.
After dinner I sat in his lap and we watched a little tv while our meals digested a little
Then I took him into the bedroom and gave him a nice massage and then I got his birthday spanking. I was over his lap (still in the maid outfit including thong) and he used a very nice leather paddle. I soooo love leather.. especially paddles.
Well once that was done we spent another hour or so in bed before going to sleep exhausted.
All in all I would say the birthday was a smashing success and the whole thing cost less than $10.. in fact the most expensive part was the cherries for the cake. I know he was happy with it. I damn sure was grinnnnns
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I am 25 (26) in September and am in a VERY committed relationship with my boyfriend, Mike. I very much like to be spanked and we have been experimenting further into other various sensual acts which I am sure I will be expounding on in later posts as I relate our "adventures".
I won't be giving out too much personal info about either of us . I couldn't care less who knows that I like to be spanked. While I would try to avoid wearing a bikini to the beach with a red ass, I can discuss it with friends without cringing or blushing. However, I plan on being a teacher and with that aspiration, I have to realize that there can never be a photo, video, or even a post mentioning my last name or too much info associated with any spanking forum or site because for some fucked up reason teachers are not allowed to have a private life that is not "acceptable" to the otherwise "tolerant" morality squads.
It turns my stomach that that is the case, but it is what it is and if i dont want a career ruined before it starts, I have to always be aware of that.
This being said, I hope people come to like this blog. I suppose if it brings a smile or laugh to just a few, it will be worth it.
Have a good weekend everyone, and to the girls, BE BAD. It's a hell of a lot more fun.