Saturday, October 24, 2009

why spanking????

Several times, i have been asked...why...why do you like spanking? Another time the question came up about that its violent. How can you resolve that its violence?

i really hadn't thought of the why and hows before and these recent and past conversations have made me consider it. i have spent a bit of time with my own thoughts, then spent a while seeing if i can find the ideas of others, and may even bring this up with Mike when he gets home.

My boyfriend is the only one who has ever spanked me and i can't think of a time when it has not been an incredible turn on that can lead to nearly nuclear sex, which led me to wondering why is it such a turn on.

i have read some quite clinical explanations. The spanking causing a rush of blood to the afflicted area and because of the proximity to the genitals, leading to swelling of tissues and the friction as a result of squirming causing stimulation to the labia and clitoris. i think you get the idea.

While this makes sense, i think it goes way beyond this. Trying to think of an appropriate word, i came up with "bask". A spanking causes me to bask in the intimacy with Mike that the act provides.

There is his strength, power, and masculinity which is not more obvious than as when he has me over his lap.

The consideration he must take as he observes my every reaction and adjusts accordingly.

The actual physical contact with him.

Each spank (especially later ones) causing an immediate spark of some pain but very soon after turning to a heat that spreads thru the whole area that causes a delicious squirm and sting.

All the senses seem to highten, even smell

i don't like the ACTUAL pain involved with the act of spanking, meaning the impact itself (especially with wood toys like a holey paddle or a brush) but it is inherent in the act... it IS spanking after all. Hand or toy strikes flesh. but it is short lived, at least with me, quickly turning to that heat and at times it can be so stimulating that the pain doesn't even register thru the overwhelming other sensations including a lead up to very intense arousal. But I will gladly endure it to experience the other aspects that I listed above.

Now, yes, spanking is violence. i mean one person IS striking another; and as said before it does cause some pain. Though technically it is violence, battery, and probably a bunch of other negative descriptions. However, i think before any such negativity is applied to the act, i think the MOTIVATION behind it should be examined.

Are you spanking her for MUTUAL enjoyment (as is the case nearly 100% of the time with Mike and i)?

Fulfillment of some kind of need?

Punishment out of love (a whole other discussion probably), that hopefully leads to a modification of behavior that perhaps if continued may endanger her health, safety, and so on?

other.. (with motivation being borne out of love, admiration, etc)

If these are applicable, then i think this is a "good" violence... and quite frankly the negative stigmas (ie violence, battery, etc) should not even be considered.

IF, however, the motivation is to lash out at a proxy to vent anger and frustration for some "wrong" that someone has done to you (for example, a female boss that passed you over for promotion) then this IS "bad" violence.

If you are doing it out of sheer anger, or you yourself have lost control or any number of reasons that are not borne out of any of the positive reasons that were mentioned above (or similar), then all the negativity SHOULD be applied and the spanking act (in THIS case) should be condemned in my opinion.

So this is how I (not speaking for others, but answering the questions in MY opinion), explain why i like spanking and how i can "justify" the "violence". And i hope i have made sense. This wasnt easy to put into words :(

what say you?


when you are at the beach (or backyard, or by the pool), laying out, wait til he is in that dreamy mostly asleep state

then take out a sunblock (like you would put on your nose or the other errrrrrr "sensitive" bits that may be exposed if you are fortunate enought to be secluded enough to lay out nekkid ) and write something on his chest or wash me....or draw a smiley or what have you.

now, if you are watching your health and worried about your skin, you arent getting fried out there! so whatever you drew on him SHOULDNT be terribly stark and another laying out should "erase" your art